The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize