so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
