This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
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Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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