Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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