The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
