yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
