I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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