Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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