So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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