remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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