Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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