I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
