what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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