it wasn't lemon gatorade
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
