Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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