u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
