Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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