Betty ford says i'm here all night
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
