Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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