For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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