I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
