if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
