whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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