i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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