i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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