she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
