dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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