dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
