its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
