would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
