He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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