My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize