You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
