Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
