I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
