Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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