spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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