Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
