Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
