1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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