I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Terrible idea I love it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
