soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
