Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
