K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
