OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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