I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
