what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
