did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
