fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
