four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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