She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
