I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
try to milk me bitch
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