Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
