I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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