HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
its liver damage thursday
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
