You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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