Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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