Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
