no you cant smoke seaweed
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
