help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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