Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
