erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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