why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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