we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
